You know how we're always debating in the blogisphere about what to share and what not to share and that's "their story, not mine" and all that stuff. And how you have that "blogging raw" thing (which always makes me think of a blogger wearing Lady Gaga's meat dress, but there you go) and the "authenticity" thing and all the other " " things because here in blogland we really, really like to label stuff.
Anyway. I'm not that kind of blogger. I'm not a big sharer in my personal life either - a Pollyanna rarely is (even the lapsed ones). I'm an open book when it comes to my thoughts and opinions, but the day to day running of a life is not something I feel the need to share. The more meat we wear, the crueller the headlines.
So even though I've mentioned a few things here and there, you won't necessarily know that we've had a super-stressful time here in Maxabellaland over the past several months. My blog became really neglected and I chose to tell you that that was because I was busy blogging elsewhere (which is true), but not that I just didn't have the spark to write here either. The problems were big but they weren't really mine to talk about, even to this wonderfully supportive community.
That's the trouble with a supportive community. Sometimes it just makes you cry that it's there. Undeserved, unimaginable, unfaceable.
Long story longer, while I realise that I've just managed to pour my guts out here without actually spilling anything, I just wanted to let you all know that things are better around here. It feels like the messy, heavy blankets have been pulled back and the crisp, scented sheets are perfectly made underneath, ready to slip into.
Thank you for being here right now to read this. I know I've pushed the friendship with this adored community many times. I used to be that nice (ish), neat blogger who blogged every day at the same time like clockwork, but I just can't seem to find my groove these days. My house is messier too.
I realise now I've gotta carve the groove, because right now I remember how madly I love it here. How in-my-skin my blog is and how much it might have helped me to keep writing over those icky months. I miss the wise, insightful, supportive, raw comments we share. I've missed getting my hands dirty in the rich earth that is writing "just because". Blogging is bloody hard work if you want to do it well, but writing is not.
When it's in you, you've just gotta write. Just sit down and do it. A spark of an idea and onto the page it goes. I might not do it in my raw meat dress, but I'm going to do it.
Just write.
What makes your own ink dry up?
This post is dedicated to Karen. Raw honesty in friendship is always so appreciated. This week, I'm wholly grateful for that.
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43 comments:
Glad things are looking up at your end.
It seems that a lot of the bloggers that I love struggled to find the time or inclination to post in the past 6 months but there would seem to be a come back for 2013.
I have been waxing and waning too. Have desperately missed blogging but when it came to keeping afloat in real life and my other creative stuff, blogging was the one that took the most effort and got left behind for a while.
I had a vague feeling that *something* was up so I am so very happy to hear those messy, heavy blankets have been pulled back now.
Looking forward to seeing more of my lovely friend B around these parts in coming weeks and months :)
Well personally I think that meat dress was over-rated, so best leave it in Gaga's wardrobe (or freezer) for now.
Bron, you're always so generous with both your writing and your advice (thank you), sometimes you have to keep some of it for yourself. But always know that there's a community to help you too. Friends, even cyber ones, are here through good and bad. x
I'm glad you're feeling better. We are poorer for your absence but sometimes something's gotta give doesn't it!
Holy crap! What on earth has been happening at your place? I hope that everything is okay with you.
You sound like me. I'm loving this community but there is so much I feel I can't share. People deserve it, but I deserve my privacy more.
Hugs to you my dear. And I really hope you are okay!!! xxx
Glad you are OK. I just looked at my blog and I haven't written anything for 14 days. Woopsy. Sometimes you just have to live in the moment and not in the computer. xx
I haven't been writing my blog for all that long...but I try to do it every day. I'm convinced that if I take a day off it will turn into two...which will turn into a week, a month...and before I know it I will never blog again.
P.S. I love your blog...so if you write more often that's just fine with me :)
oh you are a sweet one Bron. I'm like you...love to blog but you wont know if things are going downhill for me...just not my style, but having said that I did (do?) miss the Bron I know and love and can't wait to see you back in action. Blogging is just one tiny speckled part of the fabric of our life, we choose how much we share. And the conundrum is the more people share the more they expect of those they share with. At the end of the day, we can't be there for all the bloggers we love and adore...it's physically not possible hey...and like Kymmie said, I actually want privacy for those big issues in my life...thanks for letting us know that it wasn't so good, but that it's better. Virtual *****hug***** B xx
Yes I read between the lines and had a feeling it hasn't been the best time for you. You're right, we don't need to share anything if it doesn't feel right. Lovely to hear that you have crisp, scented sheets again. You'll get your groove back because it's there. I feel like that sometimes myself. We often lose the groove for lots of things - life in particular. But it comes back. Sounds a bit kooky but a good friend says to me to just accept and acknowledge the lull without judging yourself, and soon enough the magic comes back. Highs and lows. xx
Thinking of you - I often wanted to ask by email how you were but i worried about prying. I am always here if you don't want to go all meat dress but just need someone with an ear and an open mind... Hoping you enjoy those crisp sheets!! love to you hon xx
I really did feel very terrible for making that comment earlier this week (and my eyes beginning to water while reading your post suggest things are still a bit raw). Even when we are Pollyanna-ish about our lives, the words leak meaning elsewhere and people online see right through to who you are.
I see you B, and I know you've been heaving some heavy weights around but gee, when you write we're so glad for hearing your voice. *waves*
It's nice to have a space where you can play, be creative and do things "just 'cause". A blog is like a den, or a shed ... a pottering place, a place for wondering, chatting, mindful nothingness. This is why we all love coming here.
Thank you x
I am happy that you are able to know the fresh sheets feeling and hope that all continues to look up for you. Keep on keeping on!
hey bron, I am sorry that things have been hard.
what makes my ink dry up? I've noticed about once a month it runs free but the rest of the time I have to coax it out word by word.
and I never started baby space with the intention of wearing my raw meat dress but more and more I want to, so bit by bit I have been.
I am glad that things are getting better over your way :)
Much love. xx
I'm sorry things have been tough recently, but I'm glad they're better.
My blog is tired a d lacklustre at the moment so I've decided instead of sucking it drier, to walk away (for now). I'm focusing on some other writing projects which are inspiring me more. I love what you've said about blogging being hard and writing being easy, so true.
Xxx
I hear ya. I am waiting for my own crisp clean sheets. xx
The thing is you are a really good writer and so you shine through the print, font, words and you are a worthwhile person to visit. You, not just your topics, parties, wit. YOU. Hold on to that. xx
i must say I clicked on that heading thinking I was gonning to get a shot of you in the raw....no I didn't (only thought of it for a second!)...no one would want you to blog for the sake of it....we have enough obligations in life, blogging should not be one of them...happy to hear there is a shift happening. or at least clean linen!
Allison x
Your a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma and I quite like that about you. Take it easy Lady xx
clean sheets are always good - meat dresses not so
love it when you're here - you speak for me like you do for so many others
x
and to me
x
I have nothing to say of any use, except, hello, and good news about the sheets.
Sometimes Bron something's got to give, as much as you may not want it to, that's life. Hope you're doing ok xoxox
So so tricky when it is not our story to share but we are living it too. Most of my life really. I just pluck out the colour and the joy and the creative and run with that, as best I can. Boy do I have a story to write when my boy is old enough to give me his consent. mel x
xxx Rae
xxxx Bron
You know your grateful linky that I never get/got round to doing?
I'm grateful for you.
You're so real.
x
Beautifully said x
I'm glad the heavy blankets are lifting..x
glad you're feeling a little better in your world. blog once blog twice, we'll still be here. you're blog was one of the first I read and I wouldn't click away for the world.
As long as the dress wasn't horse meat then all should be fine.
Hey stay chilled - we come we go we come back. Sometimes we write sometimes we don't - It's life and life does what it does.
Life dries my ink up and life sparks my imagination right back . That's life for you :-)
Best of luck with whatever you are going through at the moment. Zanni xx
You don't have to go back to your groove if you don't want to.. Blogs are allowed to grow and change.. x
I love your blog, no matter how often or how much you write.. I think blogging organically - when that spark to just have to write comes - is the way to go. Well, the way I go anyway... xx
Yep, I thought you were just busy with life. I too tend to go into my shell if the world all seems to get a little crazy. Sharing problems isn't my thang but for some it helps so it's horses for courses. Glad to hear the clouds are clearing.x
A blog should be fun; something you want to do, not another chore. Sometimes I want to write all the time and sometimes I just want to live and not analyse it all. The best blogs, in my opinion, are the ones that keep it real - if I want artifice, I'll read a fashion mag! xK
I am glad you have continued to write. Sometimes we blog deep and sometimes we need to be light and fluffy. I don't think that it is bad to do either, we just write what we need to at the time becuase when we aren't addressing that? It shows. It shows when we're not saying something, and our community? They care. So so much.
Trust doesn't just come to you, most of the time you have to take that leap of faith off the cliff to see that it's been there all along.
Love to you my dear friend xx
Sorry to hear you've had a rough time Bron. That sort of stuff dries my ink up too x
Goodness, I know just how you feel. I've gone to write blog posts several times over the past couple of weeks but I don't want to share and don't feel like writing. But it's not the blogging way, is it? Sometimes the deadlines of blogging don't do us any favours. For me, I'm just rolling with it at the moment. I'll throw a few things out there soon but really, there's so much going on in real life I can barely keep up with the blog reading, let alone blog writing.
Glad to hear that things are on their way up for you guys. I think we all felt it in our waters that something was going on for you and we are all just happy to hear that you are doing better. x
Beautiful Bron! Glad to hear that things are looking up.
I'm glad to hear things are better for you! What makes my ink dry up? I suppose worry. I don't worry so much for myself, but for others. And I tend to take on more than I can handle. I really am my own worst enemy.
Oh Bron, I totally get this. And you get that. You make my world a better place, my friend. Love you. J x
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