Simple Bron throws stuff out of her head

My husbie tells me I have to stop calling myself Simple Bron. He says that despite the noble intentions behind my new moniker, some people might get the wrong impression.

Regardless, I'm getting simple and the first thing I'm doing is decluttering my mind. Now, I know this is not the first place people generally start with when simplifying their life, but believe me, there is more junk in my head than in any third drawer down. I hoard thoughts like some people hoard garbage.

I'll start the process by getting a few things off my chest that have been bugging me for ages and ages. Just some notes.

1. Keep left unless overtaking
It's not hard, even if you're left handed.*

2. There is a lid on the toilet for a reason
Please close it.

3. No I don't know where your shoes are
Very little annoys me more than playing Hunt the Shoe every.single.time we want to go anywhere.

4. One post doesn't make up for 100 posts
While I appreciated your one 'authentic' post about how messy your house / life / mind actually is, I'm just not convinced that it makes up for the fact that all your other posts are about how neat and wonderful your house / life / mind are. Maybe if you put a link to that one post at the top of every post? That might help.

5. Why are people so unkind
See above. Why did I just say that?

6. I don't speak Whinge
So if you're Whinging at me, I simply can't understand a single word you are saying.

7. It's not hard to disclose a "sponsored" post.
"I was paid by X company to review this product" if you were paid in cash or "I received this product to review from X company" if you were paid in product. That oughta do it. Then you can just get on with the job.**

8. It's true, I am not generally a fan of OPC (Other People's Children)
But then, just so you know, I'm also not much of a fan of OCP (Other Children's People) either.***

9. Why can't I spell psyudenom?
Because my blog ate my real name I find myself writing this word a lot but I still can't spell it.

10. Why does everyone do that 'you're welcome' thing
You know the thing: "Here's my recipe for scones. You're welcome."**** While I'm here, I'm also going to query every.single.time someone has written every single time like that.***** And also that thing where if you have a complaint about something trivial (see all of the above), someone will inevitably dismiss you as being a shallow moron fixated on first world problems and you then find yourself prefacing everything you say with "I know this is a first world problem which the Kenyan child I have sponsored for 7 years wouldn't appreciate me raising, but..." which is in addition to your usual prefaces of "I love my children so much, but... " and "I'm not usually judgemental, but..." It's exhausting.


* Disclaimer: My daughter is a leftie.
** This point was first published as a comment on Kate's excellent blog. Hi Kate!
*** This point was sponsored by the good folk at GOMI.
**** I may have done this myself.
***** I have definitely done this myself.
****** I kinda hate the asterisk because it's so annoying to have to flick down to read them so most of us don't ever bother, but if you're reading this, hello and thank you. This asterisk isn't even attached to anything in this post. There is a message in there somewhere.

Okay, I'm done.

Ahem. It's a bit cold out here on the ledge. 

Anything you feel like getting out of your head?

[Image of butter wouldn't melt: MilK 38: train. Photo: Elisabeth Toll. Style: Melanie Hoepffner]

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