Some people are just so outrageously different to ourselves that it's somehow personally offensive. Even though they aren't really affecting us in any way - they are technically just getting on with their lives and we with ours - we feel the need to say something to them, to somehow get involved.I'm not certain why that is.
There must be a fundamental part of us that is born to rally. To state our case, to defend our beliefs, to rise against the tide. The older we get, the more likely we are to defend what we know and question what we don't. But it's a red rag to a bull, isn't it? Even though we want to go gently, we're going to have to take on the might of the bull at some stage with only our wits and our little red rag to defend ourselves.
I think it's important to keep going, though. As long as you have an open and curious mind and continually seek to question and investigate your own beliefs, I support anyone who is willing to hold up that red rag and say 'enough'. Even if I don't believe in what you believe in, even if I question your reasons for needing to defend them, even then.
Because what's the alternative? Getting mauled by the bull anyway, that's what. So many people see that little person out there in the centre of the ring and say, "she's wasting her time, she'll never win" and they look away. But they are the herd, not the bull fighter. Time spent standing up for yourself is never a waste of time.
I say, don't be afraid. To question things you don't understand. To suggest alternatives. To ask for things to change. To stand up and be counted and, in the gentlest, most kindest way possible, to take on the bullies, the selfish, the arrogant and the cruel. Fight the bullshit, whatever it takes, even if you don't think you can win, even if you're a lone figure and people question your motives and maybe your sanity. Even if you question them yourself. Because at the end of the day, our fight is all we've really got. The trick is to know when you've won.
Do you stand up for yourself?
Do you believe in anything enough to take on the world?
♥
This post is dedicated to Melissa. Belief alone is peace, my friend.
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20 comments (thank you!):
Thoughtprovoking as usual (even if its to slap my head for not buying soap at the super-dooper again)
To answer your questions - yes I do stand up for myself, and I'm sure some people think I'm a right dick because of it - hey-ho. The second question is harder. I guess I do in my own way, but I like to tell myself all good things take time, still 'tis human to want to leave a legacy - for some people shouting out their beliefs is their way.
Oh, yes! I question things and I stand up for myself. I used to let it go because I thought my opinion wasn't worthy, but then I realised that I'm no worse than anyone else and I'm entitled to stand up for myself and be heard.
Last year, standing up for myself led to the biggest conflict and a major turnaround in my life, but it's the best thing that has happened to me. The moment I decided to not let go and to stand up for myself instead, all hell broke lose, but at least toxic people are out of my life :)
x
I used to be very vocal about my thoughts and beliefs.
Only within the last couple of years have I started to get a hold over, not having those thoughts, but my expression of them.
It's not about fear of rocking the boat, but more of a sit back before jumping in so quickly.
It's not always important what I think or have to say, and there is strength in being quiet too.
Strangely enough we had this exact conversation tonight. Without going into the nitty gritty, we decided it was important to pick your battles. There are times where it's important to speak up even if it's likely you won't be heard, but there are other times it's not worth the grief and you are better off staying quiet and letting your actions speak for you.
I hate unfairness in any way, shape or form - so that is my red rag.
Sometimes I think it would be easier to stay quiet {as ironically, conflict of any kind can make me physically ill!) but then I think, "If I say nothing, I am just as bad as they are"
Zoey wrote a great post on a similar topic today actually: http://www.goodgoogs.com/dissent/
We must stand up for ourselves and those who cant...teach our kids to stand up and be counted for their opinions/rights too. Things I stand up for....bullying in the work place(adults should know better), immigration laws(why are we torturing these people more than they have been already) human and animal abuse!!
There are also times when silence is golden and karma does the rest
I do stand up for what I believe in and agree that there are times for speaking out and speaking loud. But I agree with Miss Pink, there's a place for quiet. Quiet strength is something I'm thinking more and more about, of late. I think it's kind of beautiful. x
An interesting, thought provoking post. I'm not sure of the answers but you've made me think. I have a strong opinion about things but like someone else mentioned, I tend to pick my battles.
Well said. I am actually right this moment having a bit of biffo with a friend (via email) because I dared to question some poor behaviour. (and I only questioned a safety issue out of concern for their child) But I'm the bad guy.
It's hard to find the right balance between showing concern, having an opinion, stepping on toes, and being an ostrich with its head in the sand.
Sometimes shutting up is easier.
But try telling my mouth... ;)
Usually when I hold back it eats away at me, slowly but surely. And sometimes it's not just about finding the right words but about finding the right time as well which isn't always so easy.
Group norms are so prevalent that I think it's so important to respect people who step outside of them, for whatever reason.
I think its very healthy to stand up for yourself as long you don't turn into a bully yourself. That it's not always no matter what, as we always effects others along the way. If you have a belief, there are powerful ways to stand up for yourself in your inner strength without trampling along the way. I always look at what Nelson Mandela stood up for.
Speaking up for what I believe in is a huge part of my personality - even if it does get some eye rolls at times. And I wish everyone would speak up - I love the honesty of it, the not having to guess what people are thinking.
Have just a little wander around Melissa's blog and she seems to be such a gorgeous person. I cant believe that someone would do this to another person!
I would say I speak up about things, but I also hate confrontation! I think you have to choose your words and your battles carefully. But in relation to poor Melissa - personal insults are totally not on and we should all stand up for that!
I do stand up for myself. But over the years (and as I've *cough* matured) I've also learnt to pick my battles. Some things are best left alone, where others simply cannot be ignored. Knowing the difference can be tricky.
I am a big beliver in standing up for what's right or what you want. As I'm geting older though I'm learning which battles to take on and which ones to walk away from.
Even though I walk away I still think it over and over in my head wishing I'd taken it on, but knowing I don't have the time or energy.
I think it is important to stand up for what is important and to be heard. It doesn't always have to be in a battle arena.
Such a great topic. And this very thing stays in my heart and mind. I'm always trying to find the balance between being open-minded, but also wanting to state my beliefs (which are ALWAYS changing). I never want to come across as attacking someone else's belief system or passions, want to hear their version, but also don't want to be flighty in how I see things myself.
So much goes on inside my head, and sometimes there just isn't the time or clarity to get it out.
Continual frustration. I'm sure I come across as a fence sitter, because I can actually see a lot of sides. Can be a blessing. Can be a curse.
But there are lots of causes I would die for. Closing the Gap. Children who die of hunger. Equal rights.
This could be fleshed out so much more, don't you think?
I needed this post. Right here. Right now. Thankyou x
I stand up for my stepkids! Here's what happened last week. http://blog.mummybrain.com/2012/01/getting-picked-up-by-the-smurfs.html
I stand up for myself now. I used to not. I used to be the doormat and everyone walked all over me. Now I am stronger, I believe that I am worth standing up for. I also question others, not to be rude but to genuinely know them and understand where they are coming from...even when I don't agree.
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