No, I'm not talking about reindeer.
I thought I would see the year out with good cheery posts, but, alas, it may be Christmas, but I am still me.
One of the 'Big' bosses came into the office today and I am still wretching. Not on account of the Big boss, he's actually a really lovely guy, relatively unassuming and unlikely to cause a stir.
No, it was my sycophantic colleagues that made me gag. The way they whirled around him like a maelstrom of large smiles and larger voices. They boomed their utter delight that he was here, how was his FLIGHT? Where is he STAYING? At the HILTON? That's so GREAT! YOU ARE SO CLEVER TO ARRIVE BY PLANE AND BE STAYING IN A HOTEL, BIG BOSS MAN!
Oh they were so darn jolly I almost thought Santa had arrived early.
Why do people do this fake flattery thing and how can people not see straight through it? Back in the day we used to call it sucking-up and it was the scorn of the playground. I can kind of see why. I know it's a part of life and, god knows, I undoubtedly do it myself from time to time, but still. Why do we do it?
Do you sometimes wonder if celebpretties and people high up on the business ladder think people are actually like that with every one? Sort of like when you become 'big' you lose all sense of reality because your crapometer gets broken. What must their perception actually be? The world is a very complimenting and praisey sort of place? Everyone is so enthusiastic and cheerful in this life? So attentive? In many ways it might be sort of nice if we treated everyone like the Big boss, but in so many others I'm glad we reserve our fatuousness for the important people. There are only so many buckets to go around.
Sometimes the super-peppy-cheeriness is so obvious that it's like the Big boss is a curtain in a theatre. The marionettes dance when the curtain goes up and then they go back to hanging limply when it closes. I know that some Big bosses creepily demand the dance, but I suspect that most don't even notice. They probably think that the jolly nice people around them are like that with everyone. So they waltz and jive and yammer away with their happy-go-lucky team while the rest of us cringe inwardly and smile fleetingly. Yep, our smile says, you got on a plane. You're staying at the Hilton. I'll get the confetti.
Do you find yourself sucking up wildly to people sometimes?
Why do you think we do it?
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23 comments (thank you!):
"celebpretties" - I love that!
As for sucking up, I don't do it. Which probably explains a lot of why I have never been terribly popular with my bosses in comparison to others who do suck up.
this was BRILLIANT! love it....!
i pretty much suck at sucking up, big time. i cannot lie with a straight face and swear like a sailor. Meh, take me or leave me...
I dont do 'sucking up'!
I HATE it.
I won't say I've never done it or that I wouldn't, but I hate it and it's so rare and not in my nature at all.
The hardest part of it is, for those of us who want to earn our merit by working hard and doing our job well it quickly gets overlooked if we too don't join in the sucking up game. THAT makes me want to barf.
What ever happened to just doing your job well and being kind to others?
Now it seems like the game revolves around who you know and how much they like you.
I recently attended a wedding where the groom's mother was known to be a royal nightmare, making life hell for the bride-to-be in the lead up and just being a general pain in the arse. But for some god forsaken reason, all the women were trying to "win" her over, to impress her, to be "the one that broke the camels back". Don't ask me why. I have no idea. But there is certainly something in it about the desire to feel liked and to be noticed. Us women are the worst too....
ahaha this reminds me of one time when i was training at head office for work and the owner of the entire company (i work for quite a big global company) was having a chat with a group of us trainees. most of us had no idea who he was and one of the girls told him that she could teach him a thing or two about the retail side of the business.
so classic and more than a little refreshing for him i'm sure :D he had a good chuckle about it.
but yeah, sucking up, what's the point exactly? not much!
I'm not even reliably nice to the people I LIKE!!
I honestly don't think any one person is more important than another. Except for Fabio and my kids, of course.
But even the Queen -- it's her office that's important.
And these divas and 'reality' stars that think they're It and a Bit, are no more important than the girl on checkout at Woollies.
Just cannot do it, I'm really bad at anything like that, especially fake enthusiasm, I try to just slip off into the background and give a vague smile, I figure there's usually someone in the group who will do the fawning and so no one will notice me.
only when they are holding a cake that looks too big for them to eat by themself
I can't do sucking up, I actually avoid the powers that be so I don't have to talk to them! Ha - how odd am I? xx
Mmmm. Sucking up, not so good at.
Oh and when I am rich and famous I'll let you know what it all feels like ;)
No, I don't! Hate it!
Sycophantic behaviour of any description in any environment makes me want to hurl.
BUT, whilst I hate it, dare I admit that in some circumstances, I find myself being a suckerupperer? School. I suck up to the principle. I want the best for my kids. Guilty as charged. Sorry.
The desire to be liked is a powerful motivator....
Have you registered celebrepretties?? You should!!!!
It's truly gag-worthy behaviour and demeaning to boot! I freely admit to being guilty of it when I was a young-un but now that I'm old and accepting of the fact that career-prospects might as well be the name of a new brand of cereal in my house, I can't be fagged...I go on BAU and treat the our 'big' boss with no more or less courtesy than any other colleague when he appears!
The only thing I like about "peppy" is that it's my nickname for my dog, Pepper. Does it have to be a part of life?? This sucking-upness? Really? I thought nobody liked a brown-nose.
Ha ha Bron I needed that laugh today! Never stop being you, not even for Christmas ;)
As for the sucking up, I subscribe to the school of thought that it would be nice if everyone treated everyone else like a celeb-pretty (but without the sychopancy). The world would just be a nicer place.
This is so funny, Maxabella. I hated the toadies when I was in school. Hate them more now in the real world.
Oh GOD i hear you. I just cant't do it, no matter how high ranking the guy is, how could me being a complete suck up, make any difference to my husband's career (um, really, as if they even want soldiers to be married & have any outside interests, other than soldiering, 4 children, oh no, you might want to go home sometimes!!) As for any boss in my world, if they can't see through all the sucking up, i have little respect for them.
I remember one time at my part time Uni job at a big department store, our big boss came in & tried to tell us how to do our job & i actually said "depends on how anal retentive you want to be, as opposed to real life scenarios with a customer on their lunch hour". I could hear the gasp & in all honesty, had NO idea what the big deal was, i was just being me. I never got a warning, a glare or fired, i probably gained her respect!!
I can imagine you squirming & jaw agasp at how utterly pathetic the situation was. It's a shame right, we're grown ups!! Love Posie
I just loved this post! I used to work in TV (behind the scenes) and I would see this horrid behaviour all the time and it drove me bonkers. I would get so angry! People would suck up to talent, and to producers, then the sales people would suck up to get what they wanted and it was just soooooooo fake, everyone acting, gross, gross, GROSS! A massive pretend suck-fest! So over the top! I am now a stay at home mummy and I can't go back to that environment on the other side of bubbas. No way. Don't know what I'll do, so that is a bit exciting really. I certainly feel your pain when you write about this. Chris :)
I love this post and when I was the BIG BOSS at a software company I actually hated this. I'd go to our branch offices and people would be so over the top to me, I knew it was fake so it didn't really matter. The people I liked the most were the ones that were normal. Not the suck ups.
I try really hard to not suck up. I only give compliments that I truly mean.
Its my pet hate, up there with "so what do you do?" being asked when you meet someone.
Much to the horror of my Workaholic. He cringes (because of both) taking me to business things or anything where there will be a politician or a celebrity. He tries his best to keep them away from me because he dreads my response to the question and my questions in return. Sadly I often get seated next to "celebrity", perhaps for entertainment value, as I'm pretty sure my attitude has been noted!!
And my Brother in law is a celebpretty and yes he believes his own press and as I have known him since I was 15, He can take the blame for my disdain no doubt!!
tee her love this. Loe YOU for saying it out loud! Oh, we all do it. Some of us hate ourselves thereafter. Some not. You gotta do what you gotta do, I says. Me? I like to dry retch too. So glad Im out of the corporate rat-race....... xx
Nope, not a sucker-upper. In fact I am so casual in my approaching everyone as a take you as I see you thing, DH refused to allow me to go to the US with him when he had training for one of our big suppliers. Because they *demand* a sucker-upper attitude, cause they is the schizzle, ya know...
He knew it just would not happen with me along, whereas he was able to grit his teeth, smile and nod.
My theory is we all eat, shit and die so we are all equal to start with.
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