Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

12.4.11

Super Mum Syndrome


LOML is away for the week, so of course I’ve morphed into Super Mum and can’t sleep a wink.

Do you do this?

The minute I’m parenting on my own, I’m super-vigilant, super-responsible, super-patient, super-tidy and super-organised. It’s exhausting, but I can’t help it. If it wasn’t for the fact that I couldn’t possibly sustain this uber-parenting style for longer than, oh, a week, I would definitely believe that kids are better off with only one parent.

I think I cruise a little bit when there is the two of us. “Oh,” I think. “What’s it matter?  LOML can read The Badoo That Annoying Princess Book later, so I’ll palm her off for now.” Or “LOML wrestled with the Tsunamis for hours this morning, so I’ll just smile and wave at them on the trampoline while I read my book.” Then there’s the enabling: “LOML’s doing his own thing too, and he’s not worried that it’s 20 past one and the Tsunamis are rummaging in the bins for lunch, so why should I?”

That type of thing.

There’ll be none of that now I’m on my own. I’m strong and steely and endlessly cheerful. “It’s all up to you,” I think. “You’re responsible for the happiness of these children today, tonight and for the rest of the week, their lives. So, mother-up, we’re going in.”

The Tsunamis love Super Mum. She’s endlessly patient, inventive and kind. Who cares if she’s a bit over-excited and can’t seem to stop moving? She’s just very, very cheery is all. Very cheery. And, Mum, MUM!  I’m still drinking that... oh well, at least she’s not bugging us to help her clean up.

No, really, do you do this too?

[Image by tibiloo]

40 comments:

ange_moore said...

It's a bit like that here too when I'm solo-parenting! Not sure why it happens - it just does - noone else to pick up the slack I suppose.

Kelly said...

Oh definitely! I try to be the super-organised, super-tidy, super-everything when my DH is interstate with work BUT I do hang out for 7.45pm when all is quiet, and I can flake on the couch with a cuppa and some crochet (surprisingly, the little monkeys seem to understand this, and the bedtime ritual seems to run oh so smoothly when DH is away).

Jane said...

Ah, Bron, fortunately I've only had to do Super Mum with 3 once so I can't really comment. I think you can do it for short spells at that level but long term? I just couldn't. I have the hugest admiration for my girlfriend going the single mum thing. I can't imagine how hard that must be. J x

Karen Wilson said...

I'm still new to this parenting thing, and when I'm solo parenting (which currently is only Tuesday evenings for about 8 hours) I tend more to go into panic mode. Ever little thing that doesn't go perfectly ends in a cry.

I'm sure this will get better once the bub is able to communicate and entertain herself more ;)

Kerry said...

Ah no. Never! Not that I can recall anyway :) But I am very impressed that you do. Hats off big time :))

A Farmer's Wife said...

I have times where The Farmer is so busy it is like I am a single Mum...(He will work 16-18+ hours a day for a month or so over seeding/harvest) What is interesting is the fact that when he is back on deck, I get a bit cross when he tries to help and do things his way again...

I have to run with a super strict routine when it is just me or the wheels well and truly fall off.

Just Martha said...

Yes! I do stuff like take them rock climbing or roller skating or once I drove them up a mountain to go for a bush walk. When Silver Fox is home- noth'n. I don't know why I do it. In fact I am taking them rock climbing this weekend!!!!

Chelle, Nick and Raya said...

I am EXACTLY the same - I have to be double EVERYTHING. Hubby went away for a 3 week motorbike adventure to outback Australia and I was just about to fall into a messy heap when he returned - and then he got the reverse of Super Mum while my energy levels were replenished.

Simoney said...

Super mum? Nah.
When hubby goes away the dust piles up, the vacuuming can wait.
I DO check the doors are locked and try to remeber to bring the car in from the street...
but mostly I CHILLAX.
Funny that.

Daydream Living said...

You are funny, super mum...
Nope, I am too much alone with the kiddo's to make it feel like special time, but after many years of travelling (he) I am more relaxed when doing the single Super Mama routine, and when he is back I smile, big time! All they want is papa when he comes through the door (yeh!)
love this post!
Maureen x

Jodie at Mummy Mayhem said...

Ah, no...but feeling a little guilty. Should I be?

I do get my kids in to bed on time when Hubby is away though. Not really for them. That means more me time with the remote, my computer and my eggs & soldiers. Call me selfish. Call me clever. Whatevs...

At least they get a *really* good sleep that night though, right?

Right?

I think it gets all relaxed around here if anything. And I think that's a good thing.

Enjoy, hon. Enjoy!

Glen said...

The very first time I was left alone overnight to look after our son, we wound up in casualty after he tripped on his recently discovered walking feet, and bashed his head into a wall.

super dad? probably not.

Heather Nette King said...

Yep, I batten down the hatches and get on with it! Wish I was more like that all the time...
hx

Brenda @ Mira Narnie said...

oh yes, hubby is super attentive and particular, so when he's away, i do feel obligated to step up and take that on as well as well, all the other stuff i do! when there's no team and no fall back, its you or you, so that you better be the best it can be!! Chin up girl, your doing a Super Job - Fly that cape, wave that wand and away you gooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xx

Mammamusing said...

Ummm no (insert sheepish face here)

Well on solo nights it is just Amelie and I and we tend to rebel. Hot chips for dinner, staying up late and then crashing together in mummy's bed lol

Corinne – Daze of My Life said...

My hubby is away about a week every month for work. Things get more relaxed, dinners in the lounge room, the washing piles up but we all enjoy it! x

Alice Becomes said...

no not really, but that is because i cop out and whenever MM is away, we make a visit to my parents! so it is more Super Nanna and Super Granda than Super Mum!

Gill xo

Lucy said...

I fly solo with my three too often to change my style....lovely husband is away a fair bit - I lose track some times as to whether he is due home tonight or not!

I am super-screechy Mumma by 7 in
the evening regardless....

XX

LionessLady said...

Totally with you here! I become more of a Manic Super Mum - doing all of the above but in an ever so slightly deranged fashion!

And I love the whole enabling statement! Why are you always able to write exactly what I am thinking?

:-)

Toni said...

I seem to be Mummy Mayhems' twin sister.

Jen said...

Funny, I was just thinking the very same thing today. I do try harder and feel more responsible when I am on my own!

Flaming Nora said...

So very true, though I do find I tend to drink more wine of an evening when I'm on my own!

melissa said...

I veer wildly between Super Mum and Super Lazy Mum. I either do 5 hours of housework, some baking, cook a nutritious (inevitably uneaten) meal and read lots of stories or we have cheese on toast and I wrangle them into bed before 7pm then ignore the dishes and collapse on the couch.

Michelle @ The Crafty Little Fox said...

No Super Mummy here hangs up her cape. I get slack and let the kids run to seed so to speak. Routine dies a very quick death.

Mama Mogantosh said...

Hee hee, I love this! Nice one. I'm dealing with it this year, the first time in our life as parents that Keith hasn't spent two or three days every week away. Definitely, when we're both around, I slack off more. It's like I accept that nobody else is going to pick up the slack. And also it's tougher going to bed alone, so I potter and get the house done. Never thought about it re single parents though - velly velly interesting.

Life In A Pink Fibro said...

Ah, you make me laugh. I only get one night off at a time so I don't have time to morph.

Cate said...

I'm definitely the same in the patience department, but the opposite in the housework department. As soon as hubby goes away it's 'stuff the dishes, who wants to watch barbie movies?!' :-)
Just a mad scramble to put the house back together before he gets home!!
xxxCate

Maree said...

I have a hubby who is in the Defence Force and for the last 2 1/2 yrs I have had to do the Super Mum routine for 3 months at a time with 10 days on average with him home again...towards the end of the 2 1/2 years of him living in another country I was almost ready to hang up the cape but we survived...lol...

Mama of 2 boys said...

You are so bloody funny... I always think this after reading your posts!
Unfortunately I am a one woman show in our house ALL THE TIME. Hubby is somewhat 'challenged' in the house and child caring stakes, therefore it doesn't matter whether I'm on top of it all or flailing around in a mad panic (which tends to be the more common of the two), hubby and the kiddies don't notice the difference.

Mrs Average said...

I am with you all the way on this. When there are two of us at home, I just kinda go with the flow and doing bits and pieces whilst Mr A is the main figure. When Mr A is away, I too am super mum; in fact I make Mary Poppins look naff. I end up doing all sorts of things I dont normally do with the kids (mainly which I blame on having the time) and I am patient and calm. I bet my little Averages are willing for May to come when Mr A is off to Germany for 3 weeks. Its the longest he will have ever been away and after that long of being super mum, I might be facing nervous exhaustion..... what this space!

Georgie said...

Indeed I do... I tend to go nuts on the cleaning as well so not only am I sparkling but the house is too... and I rearrange the furniture... G x

Heather said...

The husband is away a bit and when he is away I am super organised...merely for my own sanity. My children NEED to be in bed by 7.30 with no excuses those days! To do this I have to ensure the routine is strict and smooth! I am definately more patient as well because I have to be. When M is home I kind of let it all hang out a bit more as I can, he is there to pick up the slack. x

Bron said...

I know exactly what you mean. It kind of lasts for about an hour or two though, then I'm back to 'normal' (Oh, you want to watch that full-length movie dvd right now on a school night? Sure!).

But I also really I relate to what A Farmer's Wife said. Sometimes it's harder to have help than just do it myself. Or is that the single mum in me talking? Hmm.

Vanessa said...

I never realised I did until you wrote about it. But I definitely do. And then I stay up way too late and don't sleep well with homme away. He is away often and yet I go all SuperMum everytime.

ForeverRhonda said...

I was super mom until I got married. Now I can slack off. He made me because I was like super control freak super mom!

Naturally Carol said...

I was always just the opposite of that...I felt so much free-er to be myself; I didn't have to cook meat for dinner, so we had easy meals, I did what pleased me in the house not what he would have expected and life was a heck more relaxed. Nobody to criticise me..yay!

Frog, Goose and Bear said...

The term super Mum just scares me. I do a lot of parenting on my own due to hubby's work hours so if I ran around trying to be super mum trying to be on top of everything all of the time I'd crash and burn, oh hang on, I already did! The only thing that changes when he is around is that I scream at the kids less and am much nicer to be around as I'm much less stressed!

Very interesting topic! You're good at picking those.

MultipleMum said...

I avoid having to fly solo for more than a night here and there at all costs. I can't imagine there is a Super Mum in there (if she is she is well-hidden!) - you are pretty Super all the time x

Kymmie said...

Love this Bron! And having a husband who is away for, say 4 months of the year, I can relate to this totally. The house is uber-clean when husband is away. (But we do have baked beans on toast more than we should.) xx

Tamara said...

I am afraid that if Husband is away Super Mum takes a break too. I am bad, really bad when Husband is not here. We have toasted sandwiches or an oven fry up of frozen food for dinner. I sit on the couch and eat endless amounts of chocolate and drink coke.... Then the day he is due home I run around like a mad woman to get the house in order! Husband will never know right?!?

Post a Comment

Thank you for talking to me.x