Yeah, so Maxi-Taxi has developed a new nervous tic. He's had tics off and on since he started school in January this year. Mostly on. He brushes his hand down his face and then the back of his head. Or he quickly touches both ears and then his chin. Or sometimes he touches each shoulder and opens his eyes really wide. He's very busy. Sometimes when he gets tired there's so much activity going on that I'm tempted to throw him in the bath with the washing.
The fact that I can make a joke like that shows just how far we've come. When the tics first started, we were horrified, baffled and frightened. Ahead I saw a lifetime of over-clean hands and shouting out fuck at old ladies on public transport. He was just so little and so new and we saw this tic business as just another overwhelming thing for the poor lad to have to deal with. We contacted the school counsellor who assured us that tics were relatively common children prone to nervousness start school. I googled the life out of it, of course. 6-8% is reasonably common compared to other weird (0.5 - 1%?) stuff kids get up to. Anyway, to reassure us, the counsellor met with Maxi-Taxi and gave us a call following their meeting.
"He's fine," she said. "Actually, he's beyond fine. He just described anxiety in the most articulate way I've ever heard."
He said: "T he world is a very big place and doing this makes it feel smaller."
My goodness. Were these funny little rituals the reason why my usually anxious little fella was coping so beautifully at big school? Indeed, they were Maxi-Taxi's comfort and friend and while I can't say we also became besties, I suddenly saw the tics in a whole new light.
Since those early days, they've slowly been reducing in number and frequency and they stopped altogether for a day or two over the school holidays. We can assume that they're probably just a temporary thing. With the threat of total life malfunction behind us, these days they're just something he does.
That said, I mentioned there's a new one. At football training on Wednesday I found myself saying, in reply to a direct question: "no, no he's been totally nit-free for a week. He's just scratching his head constantly as a comfort thing."
All eyes on Maxi-Taxi. Doubt in those eyes. Heeeeelllloooo Nit Boy.
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6 comments:
Sorry it took me so long to get here. That post was absolutely riveting! My son constantly snaps his fingers. What's the difference between a tic and just a habit?
Hi Katie, glad you found me out here in etherspace. From what I can gather the only real difference is that a tic is compulsive - the child needs to perform the ritual in order to relieve pressure or anxiety. A habit tends to be a bit more mindless and can usually be stopped with a bit of gentle reminding. Reminders about a tic will usually result in increased anxiety and therefore increased tic-ing... It's early days for Maxi-Taxi...
I used to lick my shoulder (??) when I was little. My mom still talks about how it freaked her out! Good news is, I'm all grown up and never once yelled expletives on the subway ... OK, except that one time ...
My 8yo twirls hair. Like me, actually! But he and the 6yo both went through a particularly huge amount of twirling about 6mths ago. It was going non-stop. And suddenly, they don't it so much anymore. Not sure what triggered it, but I usually twirl when I'm anxious, sometimes when I'm bored.
Both big boys became obsessive about washing their hands prior to Kindy, then once they started school, that alleviated. However, the 6yo is very thorough at present when washing his. I think it's what they teach at school/daycare, because they bang on about germs there. And they kind of have to - not their fault, but the kids who think about that stuff a lot can get caught up in it.
Sounds as though Maxi-Taxi is doing well though, and it's getting better.
Thanks for this post hon.
I often wonder about my 12 year old. he's an anxious shy kind of kid, but he makes little grunting noises sometimes, and wriggles his nose (a la Bewitched) when hes talking to you about soemthing, and sort of fiddles with his fingers sometimes too. I've never been game to get him "tested" and I've not said anything to him. It's comforting to see other mums experiencing the same things. Thank you for sharing!
i had heaps of tics when i was younger, and now that i'm in my 20s i have a whole host of other ones. most are linked to anxiety and most kids are gonna have em now cos most kids these days get anxiety.
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